Dear old Love: A note to myself
- I think, that the only way to get over someone is to not try to get over him at all. Savor the memories you shared and all the good times that you went through. Then think about all the things that make the breakup a good idea and sigh a sigh of relief. Analyze the relationship and absorb it, to every last detail. Take it as a learning experience and see what you did wrong or how you could have handled the situation better. Then, deal with the fact that it is, indeed over and what remains between you two is only a mere memory.
- Do not desperately try to get over him via drunken nights with random friends or replacing him immediately with someone else just to regain the feeling of being loved. You will only hurt yourself and others.
- Just breathe, slowly. Rationalize your feelings.
- Meet new people and put yourself out there. People remain in a rut because their horizons are limited.
- Focus on yourself. Treat yourself to something, like a new outfit or a massage or a haircut. Improve your skills. Do the things that you stopped doing because you were attached.
- Do not try to remain in contact unless you never really loved him. Getting updated that he is dating this and dating that is self inflicted masochism and may be cause of unfinished thesis papers.
- Cry when you feel like it, scream in pillows to let the pain out. Pillows will never judge you for loving an asshole too much.
- Do not lie to yourself. Denial can bury the feelings for now but they may still linger and re-surface in the future. Just accept your fate and deal with it.
- Never compare new lovers to past boyfriends. Everyone is different and a lot of people have their pros and cons. Also, we do not want to end up disappointed.
- Do not be bitter and do not stalk. Out of sight, out of mind. Be mature and do not post stuff like “thank God she’s gone” or shit about being single - it just shows immaturity and being in denial. Also, it makes you look like a total ass slash douche.
Really, everything just boils down to acceptance and self respect. Also, I should follow my own advice. :D
When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!